The Art of #SoftLife.
“The act of simply living a life with less stress, worry, and concern. Making better decisions that benefit your overall well-being. You don’t prioritize fitting in, following trends , you´re just here to live your divine purpose”
A deep insight into the care and attention you, as well as your soul, needs on a regular basis. Not just the occasional over spending on items you try to convince yourself you need, but the act of listening to your body and incorporating weekly or even daily habits to take care of mind, body & soul.
It started all with my mother who carefully moisturized my skin with soothing coconut oil not to simply moisturize and protect my beautiful melanated skin, but also pass on the feeling of warmth and selfcare whilst taking care of her daughter´s body – passing down rituals that would later trigger that notion of wanting to adapt a Soft Life for myself AND friends (issa fam thing).
It´s funny how social media will remind you of things that you’ve known all your life, really. Because the #SoftLife “trend” is nothing new, it is simply a forgotten way of living since our society hasn’t been focused on slowing down or intentional living – at least until now.
Forced to stand still and spend time with yourself to later see the immense disparity to a life you’ve lived before that is trying to creep up in the “post” corona era.
#SoftLife is just the articulation of what we´ve once known and lived, and have been reminded of when we had to be on our own and therefore (re)learn to be nice to ourselves and body. We simply have a name for it now.
At this point I want to emphasize the many ways especially Black children have been taught to pamper and take care of themselves that is essentially what a Soft Life is about – see yourself as a responsibility and priority that needs just as much attention and care. Starting with weekly sit downs with your mother/father/uncle auntie (you get the gist) or hair dresser/barber to take care of your crown, to a very specific way on how to wash your body (please use a washing cloth people) and finally moisturize it with rich shea butter, coconut oil or body lotion. There was no rushing during that process, no escaping it either because you were sooooo busy – on Sundays YOU was the task that required all your and your parents´ attention. Now that we´ve made clear we were already given all the tools and even way of thinking to live a #SoftLife let me give you an update on how and especially WHERE to incorporate habits that allow you to be gentle with yourself whilst supporting the community.
Here´s a list of recommendable Black Owned Businesses you should check out on your journey. Yes, you´ll see a lot of restaurants, because I believe in taking care of myself through nourishing freshly made food, preferably not prepared by me (I can still throw it down in the kitchen though).
- Abeba Cosmetics – I love selfcare so it’s only Right a Beauty parlor owned by a young Ethiopian woman makes the top of my list
- braids by Shawty
Followed by some exquisite places to spoil your taste buds
- ANY East African restaurant around the main station area
- Ghana Aba Abrokyire
- Lordi Kocht (nach Event)
Next up are some brands to match:
Since I emphasized that this lifestyle isn’t just about appearance we’re keeping up, we have to get done the work as well by reading, resting, praying/meditating and listening. With these black owned brands you’ll get there faster:
- Sister circle
- Rose Kabuya
- Ubuntu house ffm
- Duce Journey
I just covered one of the few essentials I have to maintain a standard I set for myself. I don’t follow all the rules, I don’t live up to my own standard all the time but I show up everyday and try.
Realizing that being present and acknowledging the effort to better yourself and break out of a cycle of bad habits no matter the outcome at the end of the day is more important than actually achieving it has been my biggest and most substantial takeaway . It helped me be more gentle with myself and actually leave room for failure to fall softly but still be whole enough to get back up instead of spiraling onto the cold deep ground which inevitably would break me.
Disclaimer: SoftLife is not about spending all your money or living a life above your means. It is about acknowledging the fact that you´re worth being spent on. It is about acknowledging the fact you´re worth making time for. It is acknowledging the fact you´re worth being spoken gently with and treated carefully. Not just by a third party but yourself, really. Stay home and lit your 0.99€ candle while taking a bath or go out and have a expensive meal – both valid as long as you say goodbye to unnecessary, avoidable stress and instead listen to YOU and your NEEDS.
I hope you enjoyed this little read and will perhaps adapt some SoftLife elements into your routines, if you haven’t already 😉 Check out afroplus.de for more Black Owned spots near you, if there wasn’t one listed in your city.
As always stay blessed, stay soft and Add value, Add vision!